I am writing this well after the event. I want to document it because of my strong feeling of despair, something I almost never feel.

So this is what I remember.

Regina came over to visit with me before my surgery.

Mom was not here yet. I needed to make plane reservations for New York, and I needed to find a place to stay. I was in no mood to do anything but sulk. She helped me by taking the initiative.

We looked at Airbnb and found a wonderful place that I later booked.

I remember crying, literally on her shoulder, saying that life was so hard. I was tired, exhausted. I really felt that life was hard.