Lent is a great time for refreshment and renewal and for cleansing. For new beginnings and for rebirth. Today’s thought was about going for the big things and about fear of failure. Tears automatically rolled down my cheeks. Failure. My marriage. I wanted a sacred loving marriage. I wanted to find someone who would be able to share that with me. How it hurts. Deep in my core, in my solar plexus, I feel failure. I feel unworthy because the connection that I desire, a yin for my yang, a male for my female, isn’t there. I feel incomplete, unfulfilled. What an ego, I feel like “I” should be able to make it happen. But under that is the fear that I am not good enough; I am not worthy of that connection. And that is why I am so involved with self-help stuff. Ouch. I don’t really like that thought but it resonates. The reality is that I AM good enough.

I am perfect the way I am. I just need to be patient and accept surrendering.

The feeling of rejection from my father, then husband … After some tears and reflection: my core belief is “I am good.” When someone challenges that belief (due to their hurt and pain they want me to feel or be “not good” so they can feel better – which is absurd and doesn’t work) then it sets up a big conflict within me and I feel I must prove myself. What if I gave that up for Lent? What if I give up trying to prove myself? What if I just am GOOD? After all, it is who I am.